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Corny maths jokes, puns and one-liners

Like my favourite high school teacher always said: The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are derivative, trig jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are just basic.  (But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.)

If you are cringing right now, you know how my entire 8th grade math class felt every day. However, it is important to know a few good, short jokes for every occasion – even if only the smarty pants in the room will get them. Here are 30+ math jokes guaranteed to multiply your enjoyment. Don’t worry: Unlike pi, they won’t go on forever.

Why should you never talk to pi?

Because he’ll just go on forever.

Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?

Because they can’t even.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A roamin’ numeral.

Three statisticians go out hunting together.

After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out, “We got him!”

Did you hear the one about the statistician?

Probably.

How do mathematicians scold their children?

“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”

Old mathematicians never die.

They just lose some of their functions.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?

To get to the same side.

What happens when you put a root beer in a square glass?

It just becomes beer.

Why do mathematicians like parks?

Because of all the natural logs.

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