With Valentine’s Day just around the corner we spoke to three WYZA women who are single, 50+ and fabulous.
- Living fabulously after separation or divorce
- Can you afford to travel alone?
- What is most important to you in a relationship?
Are you recently single and wondering if you’ll ever experience true happiness again? Meet three inspirational WYZA generation women who say they don’t need to be in a relationship to embrace life to the fullest.
Victoria Rose, 65, Melbourne
Motivational speaker and blogger
“A man proposed to me when I was 42 and it was awkward because I had no desire to marry again. So I said ‘no, thank you’. The reaction of my friends shocked me, one in particular. He said, ‘Victoria, you should’ve accepted. You’re not getting any younger you know’. Even now, I shake my head at such a comment.”
What helped you overcome any fears, if any, you had about being single?
“In my business and social media images, photographers know not to use Photoshop to erase the wrinkles. Those lines are mine and tell the story of my life’s journey. I’ve certainly earned them.”
The best things about being 50+ and single?
“Freedom sums it all up for me. Freedom to go to bed early and get up early. Freedom to buy those red shoes, to take a long shower, to spontaneously decide to go out, to travel, to start a new business venture.”
Words of wisdom?
“Divorce can really knock the stuffing out of you. Regrets, recriminations and doubt are one’s bedfellows. So, know what you want as an outcome for your life. Find out what you need to do to make the rest of your life the best of your life. Because that’s what we all want, isn’t it? To have that life we say we deserve?”
“Keep moving. No need to flog yourself at the gym, unless you’re into that. Just move that body around. That alone will help to lift your spirits. Notice how beautiful you are. Really.”
Are you looking for love?
“I am always open to love: love of my children, friends, people, colleagues, learning, nature, travel, our planet. . . the list is endless. As for romantic love, I would never close the door on that either.”
Stephanie “Medini” Canaway, 55, Sydney
“I’ve been divorced since 2003, moved cities and for the past 8 years I’ve been studying and focusing on my spiritual side and realising I’m ok with doing things on my own and finding strength in that as well as overcoming some of the fears I’d had in the process. It was a real milestone being able to drive to Queensland and holiday on my own and then travel overseas.”
Did you always see the positive side?
“No, when my marriage fell apart I struggled to cope, my family disintegrated and I fell completely into fear of how I was going to survive and grabbed at the first available life preserver I could find. I had lost complete confidence in myself and in any ability I may have had. I found it hard to find a solid footing and a way forward. It was like I was in a big black hole and I couldn’t find a ladder to climb out.”
What helped you overcome these fears?
“There was an inherent need to find me, my inner strength, confidence and get back to a place of peace, no second guessing my choices, accepting mistakes I’d made and then working out what it was I really wanted to do with my life and what it was I wanted to receive from it.”
“There is life ahead, believe it is bigger and better and waiting for you, have the faith to keep moving forward and leave any regrets behind.”
“Life is our teacher, discern from the past, be open to the future and dance with the rhythm of your soul’s journey. Be who you were meant to be and know you are worth it and that you’re never too old for anything. The biggest relationship is the one we have with our self.”
“Cultivate, respect, nurture and nourish this, learn to love all parts of yourself, then all other relationships will fall into place.”
How does your life today compare to when you were in a relationship?
“It’s chalk and cheese. I had forgotten who I was when I was in a relationship, I struggled with self-worth and self-esteem and knew nothing about how to be heard, assertive, valued or loved. This was true both personally and professionally. I am more me than I’ve ever been before I’m ready to embrace a new life and way of being me in the world and jump in to a new career path and follow my heart.”
Carolyn Webster, 50, Melbourne
Baby product developer
“Now I’m single I’m embracing more of the things I love doing such as hikes, travelling, yoga, catching up with friends, movies and just having fun trying new things. I have joined meet up groups, to meet other people with similar interest. The best is it fits in with my lifestyle and I can choose what it is I would like to do or explore. I don't have to compromise myself. I have also embraced time for just myself, either reading, meditation taking long walks. I feel it's important to feel comfortable with your own company.”
Any fears along the way?
“Wow there were lots of fear when I became single. For example, thinking I’m never going to find anyone, I am going to be alone. How am I going to be financially? How am I going to be a good parent?”
What helped you?
“What I had to do was get real with myself and realise that I am the only one that came make me happy. What kind of life did I want? A life of feeling sorry for myself and bringing everyone down with me or a life of experience and fun? Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of knock downs along the way and a lot of lessons. As time went by with each knock down I soon learned to get up quicker.”
Are you looking for love?
“If the right person walked into my life I would welcome him with open arms. I have had enough of what I don't want to know what I do. It is for me a feeling of connection and a feel I will just know it when it happens.”
“I have a lot of love within in me that I share every chance I can with my family, friends and animal. A smile at a stranger, a gentle hug with my mum, laughter with a friend. There is never too much love and always have love for the right person.”
How does your life compare (personally and professionally) to when you were in a relationship?
“For me personally I have had huge growth within myself. I married young and didn’t understand myself let alone what I was looking for in a partner. This wasn't always easy, but looking back those hard times just made me stronger and the person I am today.”
“Professionally, I worked to just earn money when in relationship but, throughout my working on myself and understanding what I love to do, I built my career. I am now an author and baby product developer and businesswoman.”
What do you love about being single? Share your experiences below. We love to hear from you!