It’s time to take this relationship to the next level: I’m literally going to scratch your back while you scratch mine. Try and copy my hand movements exactly, scratching the same spot on my back that I scratch on yours. This exercise is not so much about reciprocity as it is about synchronisation: two or more people, mirroring each other’s actions in order to better understand each other. Suddenly, an individual experience becomes a shared experience, and empathy grows.
Mirroring like this happens in hundreds of invisible ways every day: we match our best friend’s gait when we walk together; a mother’s heartbeat synchronises with her newborn’s as she holds him; a crowd of fans watching sports together makes the same facial expression when their team scores. To simulate the power of synchronisation without getting too touchy-feely, pick a partner and play a 30-second mirror game. For half a minute, stand up and move your limbs around in slow, unpredictable motions while the other person tries to mimic you exactly. When 30 seconds are up, switch roles and try to mirror them. Push through the awkwardness (that’s part of the shared experience) and you will find yourselves suddenly much more at ease with one another.